Preternatural Problems:

To the Director of Transportation:

Dear Sir,

As the Union Leader for Trolls Unite, it has been brought to my attention that the toll bridge at Euclid and Wessex, crossing the Little Blue River, has recently hired three toll collectors who are not bridge trolls.

I must insist that this disastrous decision be reconsidered. According to the Twelfth Edict of the Preternatural Charter, preternatural beings whose existence is tied to a certain function of the government’s infrastructure must be offered employment before any other candidates are considered.

Bridge trolls fall directly into this category. River nymph scabs do not. There are other employment opportunities available to river nymphs. There are none for bridge trolls. I know of thirteen homeless bridge trolls within the city limits. Do not insult my intelligence by suggesting all thirteen turned down gainful employment and a home.

They are forced to sleep on their parents' couch one night a week to sustain themselves. More than that, and their parents would instinctively eliminate the competition. You’re a family man; do you really have the stomach to inflict that horror on other parents?

They must have a bridge before they can marry and start a family of their own. Their very existence is inherently tied to bridges. This is why the Bridge Troll Relocation Network was founded. By their calculations, this city can sustain those thirteen bridge trolls!

If this situation is not resolved within the month, I will be forced to take the matter up with the Hall of Preternaturals. I cannot imagine that you would want history to remember you as the bureaucrat who triggered a war over three toll booth positions.

Sincerely,

Arna Dybdahl

Union Leader of Trolls Unite